Monday, March 17, 2014

facebook?

About two years ago, I deleted my Facebook account. I had grown weary of watching drama unfold via a computer screen. Reading the opinions and statements of people that I could guarantee would never be spoken by these people in face to face interactions and constantly denying friend requests from people I would not consider friends. After deleting my account, I never once regretted it. And I think that says a lot. It was really more of a relief to be outside of it all. How and why had a website taken over so much of my life? Why did I believe my online presence was so important? In my mind I thought "Oh, people far away will want to see what I'm doing." "There is no other way I'd stay in contact with such and such." "The pictures, what will I do without the pictures!?" 

The reality was, when I deleted my Facebook life, some close friends cared, but the rest of the world? No fucks did they give. The world kept turning. My social life suffered naught. The important people used phone calls, Skype, emails and text messages to keep in touch. And that was awesome. It forced certain friendships to develop in different ways and other friendships to fall away. No regrets. Last month I got a writing gig for an online magazine (check it out!) and the editor asked if I would open a new Facebook account. She would use Facebook as a forum to communicate with all of the writers at the same time. Also, an online presence is important for aspiring writers, artists, etc.

I agreed. At first I was going to use it solely for magazine communications, but then I thought "...all or nothing!" and I went for it. I began clicking every friend suggestion that was put before me. In a few days over 300 people from every life I have lived reappeared. There was a bit of shell shock. People whom I hadn't been "friends" with before I deleted my account, I now allowed. Ha. All or nothing! Lives spilling onto the internets for all to see. Terrifying. I was excited though. So much to catch up on - so many people to rediscover! 

And yet, I was fairly disappointed. Sure, there were some it was fun to find that have done/are doing exciting and adventurous things. But the majority were the saddest carbon copies of each other. Oh look, I got married! Oh look, I had a kid! Oh look, I had another kid! Here's a picture of my kid! And another one! And another one! ... Don't get me wrong, I love a cute kid, but people, nature designed kids to be cute. I'll be impressed when they're 20, aren't fuck ups and are contributing to society. Until then, one picture a month is more than enough. Also, get a hobby! Stop aspiring to be the exact same as all of the other terribly lame people and do something awesome! Take all those spare moments you use your damn Facebook and that adorable kid and show them what being a great person looks like. Volunteer somewhere. Visit old people and let them love on your child. Spend a few bucks and buy a coffee for a stranger or give it to someone buying gas. 

But I digress, and give you my conclusion about Facebook after a month of being back: 
1- It is fun to be back in contact with a handful of people I otherwise wouldn't be.
2 - It is not fun to watch stay at home moms use it to circle jerk each other "omg! Your kids are so cute!" "Omg! Thax! So are yours!" - again I say, get a hobby.
3 - Teenagers are vile and need some serious parenting and social network monitoring.
4 - The majority of those whom I am actually curious about and/or are doing anything noteworthy, well, they're rarely posting on Facebook.
5 - The cool kids all got fat or weird or boring or the wonderful trifecta of all three. And that pleases me and reaffirms every move I've made in life that has brought me to where I am today.


Cheers, Facebook! You are keeping me entertained and I'm okay with it.

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