Monday, November 11, 2013

Fortunate

Adjective: fortunate
favored by or involving good luck or fortune; lucky. "She'd been fortunate to escape more serious injury."
Synonyms: lucky, favored, blessed, blessed with good luck, in luck, having a charmed life, charmed.
I'm not a woman of great means. I do not live a glamorous life. As far as material things go, I am lacking in the most comical of ways. I have one brush, it is travel sized and has been broken for at least 5 months. I have a total of $30 to my name. My closet has 30 hangers in it, which all of the clothes I own fit on. Rice and eggs have been (and will continue to be) what my diet consists of. I have no computer, no iPad, no iPod, no tv and my phone people tend to laugh at. In my cupboards I have 2 plates, 2 bowls and 2 pans in which to prepare my meager meals. I have no health insurance. No dental insurance. And plenty of dental problems.
However, I am fortunate. Very, very fortunate.
I have a family that has been through hell in every capacity. We've hurt each other and watched others hurt us. Each of us has our own life, drastically different from one another. Yet, we love. We NEVER doubt that love either. We are family, through and through. We are unbreakable. Something I know to be true, because I've watched life try to tear us apart. And sometimes we do get pulled away from one another, but we never fully fall apart. We heal and become closer with a stronger bond. I am fortunate.
Friendships are different than the family dynamic. Friendships you choose. Friendships you work to maintain. Friendships can happen at any moment.
I've had friendships grow from the most peculiar of situations. When you travel, you quickly learn what friendships are lasting and what friendships are fleeting. It is sad when you leave a place and a friend and you realize that what you shared was temporary. Of course, this is life. Some friendships are only meant to last a season. But it is sad nontheless. Other times you leave a place and a friend and you find you've built a bond that time and space does not affect. And that, that is beautiful, precious and not to be taken for granted. I am fortunate.
Everywhere I go, I am introduced to people who treat me with kindness, love and respect. I am fortunate.
Starting over is always a bit daunting. Even when you're happy to be where you are. Starting a new life in Chicago is proving to be very interesting. I have a really great small group of friends that continues to grow. In a short time I've become a part of their unit, which keeps me happy and balanced in this new life. I am fortunate.
The family I nanny for is wonderful and kind and treat me with respect (often not the case when you're "the help"). We are getting to know each other and building what is no doubt a lasting bond. The girls give me tight hugs and tell me they love me. I am fortunate.
I hope each of you can look at your lives and see where fortune has kissed your lives. I hope you can hold tightly to that knowledge, especially when you feel less than fortunate.
"The way of fortune is like the milkyway in the sky; which is a number of small stars, not seen asunder, but giving light together: so it is a number of little and scarce discerned virtues, or rather faculties and customs, that make men fortunate."
-Francis Bacon

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Farewell For Now

Glorious: having a striking beauty or splendor that evokes feelings of delighted admiration.
That is how I would describe my life in my final few weeks on the island. Granted, this entire year has been quite special and has evoked many feelings of delighted admiration. However, my farewell (for now) to my family, friends and home in the magnificent Puget Sound will go down in history as one of the greatest farewells I've ever experienced thus far.

I was fortunate enough to be around for the start of school for my nieces and nephew. I got to watch my youngest niece walk into her first day of kindergarten! As well as my 7 year-old niece begin 2nd grade. My 13 year-old niece begin 8th grade and my 15 year-old nephew begin 10th grade! I remember each of them being so tiny, so vividly. They're all growing so quickly and are such funny, imaginative, smart, sweet kids.
My last day on the island I swam roughly 3.5 miles with my incredible little brother - from the island to the mainland.

Wearing wetsuits and paced by two boats we began our swim. We got into the water from the island at 12:22pm and stepped onto the shore in Steilacoom at 3:22pm. Exactly 3 hours! Killed it. We had two boats pacing us; one on either side and we didn't cross paths with one jellyfish. We had one seal swim around about a hundred yards away, but it kept at bay and soon disappeared into the great unknown. The swim proved to be fairly easy. Salt water definitely made us more buoyant and helped our pace. We didn't once stop for a break or have any problems. At the end of the 3 hours we were certainly ready to be finished, but were also very pleased to have made it without incident!

I couldn't conjure up a better way to leave the island. It felt brilliant to have accomplished the task we'd talking about and had been working up to all summer. Little brother is a beast! We had a blast.
I tried to attach a few pictures, but I'm updating this via my phone... so I have no idea if this will work.

This was the first time, in quite some time, that I've spent such an extended period back on the island. It was such a gift to be surrounded by my family and to be reminded of all of the greatness we share both together and separately.

It was a summer of much growth and I was pleased to leave on such a happy and harmonious note.
Delaware/Maryland/Pennsylvania have welcomed me very kindly and I am excited to soak in all that surrounds me for the next ...however long...

Fall is coming quickly and balance is making its way as the equinox nears. And so is baby Ellie! We're eagerly awaiting her arrival and she is already one very loved little girl. She'll have a very excited crowd cheering the moment she makes her first appearance. Yay Ellie!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Noteworthy Adventures

This summer has been outta this world. The adventures I've been on have been abundant.

As I prepare to leave this lovely place, I am reveling in many of the great things I've done.

I kayaked around Seattle - one of my favorite things to do in the city. I hiked up Mailbox Peak with a propane tank on my back. I camped in the Columbia Gorge, hiked to waterfalls, swam in the icy mountain water and bathed in beauty of those giant mountains.

Last weekend I married a very happy couple and attended the longest reception I have ever been a part of. People who attended this wedding span the entire length of my life. To clarify, there was such a splatter of island folks, that there were people from every year of my life. Easily the most... informative event I have possibly ever attended. Phew.

To properly say farewell to this crazy-beautiful island, I will swim to the mainland. My bags will be packed and taken across the water via ferry. Little brother and I, however, will take a longer trip swimming to the mainland. We're estimating it to be about a four hour swim, if weather, currents and jellyfish all play in our favor. Fingers crossed.

My 7 year old niece learned how to swim this summer. What an exciting moment! She swam to the deep dock at the swimming hole without floaties or a life jacket. It is quite the rite of passage as an island child. She beamed with pride and so did I. She's been so brave this summer and her courage has paid off, because she's exploring a new ability and freedom. It's very encouraging thing to watch.

Summer is winding down and everyone is preparing for a shift in life. I'm preparing for a few significant changes myself. Life for me will shift, and although I know this in my head, it's a different story when that change fully comes about. I'm looking forward to the clarity that will hopefully come from it.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Dancing with the Universe... to the beat of falling stars...

It has been an unquestionably blissful summer.

The Northwest has been blessed with endlessly perfect weather. Each day the weather summons you to go outside and soak in the beauty that surrounds all who reside in this fine land. The late Fall, Winter and Springs can really get you down with the endless wet and grey. But the Summer is what we PNWers live for. Hard to be unhappy when you're surrounded by mountains, sea and endless lush forests. We islanders get it even better. We've got the lakes, the quiet beaches and though the tourists have bombarded us, it's still a very mellow summer compared to summer in the city.

I've had the great opportunity

My mind has been exploding with thoughts of the Fall and the change that is coming. My nieces and nephew will all be starting school again in just two weeks. The next time I see them they will have learned so much and grown quite a bit, no doubt. My best friend will be a Mom for the first time. Many of my friends will be moving to new states and countries and starting new jobs. I will be working on a new farm and meeting new folks, while learning new things about farming on the East Coast.

Change is one of my favorite things. Even when it makes me initially uneasy, I'm still excited at the prospect of seeing what new and different bring about.


Monday, July 8, 2013

Island Summer

Beach babe.
Summer bliss.
Four girls on four swings.
Claire Bear swinging!
Bella pumping herself to the moon!
Luna coming at me fast!
I've been back home on the island for a week now. It has proven to be wildly surreal. In this short week I have seen at least a dozen, if not twenty folks that I have not seen in five to ten years. It being summer, as well as the holiday weekend, former islanders of all sorts have come back to the place we all still consider home.

Typically I am not a fan of seeing people I haven't seen in years, only to catch up hearing "I had a kid" or "I got married" or "I got a divorce" or all three of those. Generally if I haven't stayed in contact with someone, it's because I don't want to. However, it's different out here this summer. It could be ten years since you've seen someone and because you're islanders back on the island in the summer, there is a precious commonality. Island summers are pure perfection.

With two fresh water lakes, three swimming parks, endless parks and trails, there is no reason to be inside or bored here in the summer. The weather has been perfection. Cool mornings, with clouds burning off after lunch. I've been able to spend most of my days with my nieces. The girls are getting so big and Shamarye is so grown up, he has a job! So I barely even get to spend time with him. Spending summer days with the girls has brought back so many happy summer time childhood memories.

I remember... Endless days in the lake. Wishing we could spend all day in the water. Always wanting to go to The Swimming Hole over Interlachen (the park down the street from our house). Wanting to not wear shoes when walking anywhere. Sleeping outside under the stars. Walking to and from the store with numerous other children.

I remember that which my nieces and nephew are currently experiencing. It's been a very long time since I've been out on the island without an agenda, particularly in the summer time. I had forgotten how beautiful it is here. I forgot how much I love swimming. I get to swim across the lake alone, when no one else is around and it's perfectly calm. I get to take night swims with my brother. I really couldn't be more happy. Life is good. Really, really good.
The Swimming Hole!
Bella and Luna as classic Islanders.


Interlachen
The beach. 
Formerly, The Swing.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

One Year

One year ago I flew out of Seattle with nothing more than a razor scooter and an overloaded backpack. I had abandoned most all of my possessions, my home and my job. Due to a variety of circumstances and incidents, I made the decision to travel, explore and experience as much new life as possible. I am beyond pleased to say that I have done more than I could have imagined when I boarded that plane to Nashville last June. 

At the end of my first night in Nashville, I wrote this:

"To be quite frank, I was freaking out after I arrived in Nashville. I don't know how many of you have abandoned all possessions, all familiarity and ventured out on the road ENTIRELY ALONE, but for those of you who haven't, it's fucking terrifying. At least it is to me. 


Terrifying in a healthy way, I suppose. As I spent my first evening alone, it was rather surreal. This last month has been a whirl wind of time spent with pretty much everyone. Not a moment alone. I'm a lucky lady in that regard. The shock of suddenly being alone- I mean ALONE really hit me hard as I was wandering alone in search of food. I'm alone. Just me. Out on the road, new cities, new states, new people, no partner in crime, no one to whisper to that I'm secretly freaking out. Don't get me wrong, this is good. I know it is, but the transition from familiar to unfamiliar doesn't just happen without notice. At least for me it hasn't."

That was a beautiful night. I was fortunate enough to spend that night at a hostel where I met dozens of people from all over the world. It was truly foretelling of the year to come. The initial goal was Maine and from there I had no idea. No time frame, no agenda, just pure and simple freedom to explore and experience. Without a doubt the best decision I've made in my adult life.

To recap the year, a quick list of the places I've been/things I've done:

Explored Nashville.
Laid next to the Potomac in DC on a warm summers day.
Spent time with my childhood best friend, Crystal.
Lived in Maine.
Picked wild blueberries and ate lobster at will.
Met and befriended an amazing group of folks in Maine.
Worked at a magical toy store.
Swam naked in the Atlantic.
Made multiple middle of the night swims in Atlantic.
Traveled Italy.
Swam in the Mediterranean.
Explored Dublin, Ireland.
Spent a couple months in Seattle/Anderson Island embracing old friends and family.
Rode my bike from Seattle to San Francisco.
Spent a month in San Francisco
Spent a month with Amy Anderson!
Moved to a farm in Texas.
Spent 3 months farming outside of Austin, Texas.
Fell in love with growing food and creating delicious and nutritious meals.
Killed a chicken with my bare hands.
Danced my heart out in Boise, Idaho.
Got ordained!

Not every moment was magic. I've met some creeps, called the cops, had the cops called on me (be ye careful whence climbing abandoned buildings), slept on a sidewalk, had money stolen (twice), experienced small town rumors, seen the real (sad/unkind) side of some folks I considered friends and observed some physical confrontations (fights!), to name a few of the less than magical moments. But I know it can't all be rainbows and puppies. Yet, in the midst of this endlessly adventurous year, I have easily met hundreds of people and have become friends with at least half of them. I have new friends from all walks of life and of all ages. I met many beautiful men and have had many most perfect and movie worthy dates and romantic encounters. 

There have been some friendships that have ended, many new ones that have grown, multiple tragedies, multiple joyous moments and I have learned more about myself in the last year than I have in at least the last five, if not more. I am very settled with who I am; happy, unconventional, loud, pensive, extemporaneous, sarcastic, evolving, inappropriate, suspicious, independent and driven by passion and love. I've no qualms about who I am and the perception others have of me. 

Currently I am in Boise, Idaho. It has been just wild here. I reconnected with an old friend, made many new friends and am spending some well needed time with my aunts and cousins. In review of this last year, I conclude that I am undeniably fortunate and infinitely loved. I have a total of $20 to my name, but feel like I am the richest gal in all of the galaxies.  "A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." I strive to never be a cynic, just sarcastic :-)  

Saturday, May 25, 2013

New Life

I see a lot of magnificent things here on the farm. Though I suppose when you're spending at least 8 hours a day outside, that is just what tends to happen. Nature holds a multitude of beauties.

One of my greatest pleasures is watching the cows graze. On the back of the washroom (same building my room is in) there is a small deck. To the left of the deck is the outside area for the chickens, directly ahead is the pond, which is in the cow pasture. The cow pasture is quite large, so the cows aren't always in sight from the deck, but often enough they are, as they do so enjoy cooling off in the pond. I love sitting on that deck when the cows are grazing and bathing, and the chickens are clucking and Dr. Cockles (the wiley rooster) is out, waddling around cockadoddling.

Sometimes the dogs will come back there and will chase the cotton-tailed rabbits around. A battle of speed and so far, the rabbits always win. They are quite speedy and thoughtful when the dogs are in pursuit. These simple things make me so happy. I feel both pleased and at peace.

It being spring there are many little nuggets. On our farm and the farms around ours there are many wobbly baby animals growing quickly! Calves, chicks, baby goats- kids, yes?, baby donkeys, kittens and even little Charlie - Jacob and Sue's baby boy! He was just five weeks when I arrived and he's grown so much in the last few months. I love watching all these little ones grows. Doesn't matter if they're human or animals, when they're babies they're so cute! But like I said, growing so quickly. The chicks that were only about a week old when I arrived are so big now! Soon they'll be laying!

New life is beautiful. It reminds one of all the potential that lays ahead. And all of the innocences that was. I bask in it.





I killed Dr. Cockles



Last night I killed Dr. Cockles, the rooster. Yikes. This was not an accident. It was indeed intentional.
Jacob brought their old rooster over to the farm and showed me the process of killing, plucking and cleaning the chicken. I followed suit with Dr. Cockles.

It was a really intense experience for me. I have been wanting to do it because I feel we, as a culture, are so far removed from how our food is prepared. For most of my life I've eaten primarily processed foods. When I lived in cities, I ate out or ordered in 80% of the time. 15% of the time, I at pre-made meals/foods and maybe 5% of the time did I prepare my meals from scratch. I never had grown my own food or been a part of the killing process of any meats I ate.

That is a bit horrifying to me as food occupies the majority of my thoughts. This is what spurs me on to farm, I want to be the one that brings to life the food I consume. It's important to me and I think it should be important to everyone. So, I felt I definitely should kill a chicken in order to fully grasp what meat consumption means to me.

I had considered myself a conscious omnivore. Boy was I wrong. I was not conscious before this experience. It's one thing to think about the death of an animal and to appreciate the sacrifice of its life for some tasty meat. It's a wholly different thing to cut the animals throat, feel its warm blood flow over your hands, and hold it still until the life literally drains out of it. Every single animal I consume goes through the same or similar experience. There is no nice way to take the life from an animal. And if you don't think its a big deal, I think you've got to have something very wrong with you.

The process took me roughly 30 minutes from start to finish. The following are the steps I took to end Dr. Cockles life so we could enjoy him as a meal.

One - Catch him.
Two - Place him upside down in what we call the "cone of death" - a crude metal cone which holds the chicken while you cut its throat.
Three - Once he bled out fully, remove him from the cone, by his legs, take him to a pot of hot water, twist him around, dipping him in and out of the water, soaking all the feathers.
Four - Remove from the water and with your hands, pull the feathers out. The reason why he's soaked in the water is to make it easy to pluck. The feathers pull out surprisingly easy when the skin is warmed.
Five - Cut off his head and legs. In order to achieve this, I had to cut (with nothing more than a sharp kitchen knife) cut into the joints on the legs, then snap them with my hands, finish this by cutting from the other side anything that was still connected. As for the neck I just had to use a lot of strength to cut the spine.
Six - Cut around the asshole, carefully as to not cut the intestinal tract. I reached my (whole) hand into his anus and pulled out the entrails.
Seven - Clean with water. Sprayed out the inside of the rooster with a hose and cleaned off any excess feathers, grim, etc. on the outside.
Eight - Place in a fridge/freezer or prepare for dinner.
Nine - Remember the feeling of warm blood pulsing down my hands and fall into deep thoughts about how much meat is consumed every hour.


I am very glad I did this, but I didn't enjoy it. I definitely will not be eating as much meat as I have in the past. And when I do eat it, I will be very, very conscious of the life that was taken and the person who took that life so I could have a bit more protein. Thank you Dr. Cockles, you were a good rooster and your death is not in vain. I've learned much that will follow me for years to come.

Friday, May 17, 2013

My Cup... :-)

Last week I flew into Seattle to return home for a very full week. I arrived at the airport to be picked up by my friend Lana, whom I hadn't seen since Italy last Fall. It was wondrous to see her and catch up. First thing the next morning I hopped on a bus to meet my Dad, Mom, Sarah, Ben, Shamarye, Jada, Bella and Luna in a two car caravan headed for Boise.

It felt so good to see my family again. What a welcomed event! It was quite the drive as well. We took a leisurely pace, making it to Boise in about 12 hours. We arrived to see many cousins and aunts and uncles and my granny. It was beyond joyous. A somber reason to gather, but truly the most heart-warming experience I've had in a very, very long time. In total, there were 45 Wiggins spanning five generations that gathered to celebrate the woman we all respect and admire so much: my Aunt Dianne.
While in Boise I got to see my friend, John, that I haven't seen in years. It was fun to have him meet many of my family members and to catch up.

Once back on the island I got to spend more time with my family, we celebrated my Dad's birthday and got to soak each other in. Much peace and much joy. In addition to my lovely family, my friend Calder, who I met on the farm in Texas, came up to the island to spend a couple days with me. I'm so lucky!

Since I was flying out at 6AM, I had to spend the night in the city in order to catch my flight. Up to Seattle Calder and I drove to meet up with about a dozen of my most favorite Seattle folks. I kid you not, they all showed up on the beach to visit me for the few hours I had. Are you kidding me? How lucky could a gal get?

I am currently feeling wildly thankful. Despite any and all shit thrown my way, I am feeling thankfulness pulsating throughout my body. It's caused some schemes to begin brewing in my mind. But as you know, can't be too sure what will happen.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Ponderings of the Heart

What I have been doing this last year is sometimes said to be the American dream; to sell everything off, head to a new place and start a new life. This is something I've become an expert in. I have no qualms about starting out in a new place with new folks. I've also become an expert in short romances. I've no problem meeting someone new and sharing intimate moments, only to move on after a lovely, but brief time. I've been wondering lately if I am too good at this; temporary romance. As it stands, I am connoisseur of first dates, first kisses and stolen glances.

When it comes to relationships, I haven't been keen on them for a couple of years now. Despite that, I have dated plenty. Dating has become somewhat of a hobby of mine. It is easy for me to meet someone and in no time at all, I am sharing their confidence. Someone who was a stranger is now someone who is sharing their secrets with me, while we sit together in picturesque settings. During sunsets on a beach or warm nights next to a pond, we embrace or hold hands and it is as though we are the only ones who exist and nothing around us matters. For those moments we are teenagers; young, innocent and carefree. 

Of course, I am rarely invested in these men. It is the moment I am interested in. The magic of that moment and that sunset or walk in the rain or dimly lit corner of a restaurant. I thrive on hearing dreams they are fearful to share with others or secrets that have burdened them for years or simple thoughts they feel comfortable sharing because they are so at ease. I've kind of come to pride myself on being able to make any man feel vulnerable enough to share his heart with me. 

Granted, people in general are easy to peg. Give me a half an hour with someone and I can tell you whether they get long with their parents, what sports they played in high school, if they are faithful or unfaithful, what they do and what they really want to do and so on. I can usually do this without ever asking about any of those things, but rather just by listening to them chat in casual conversation.When it comes to men, when the prospect of a woman is involved, it's even easier. Like moths to the flame.

It's not out of malice that I have this hobby, not in the least. There are no pretenses about our encounters. Generally these men aren't looking for a long-term relationship or partner, which is why their vulnerability comes so easily; they know we will only share these moments and then I will be on my way. To a new city, new state, new adventure, new life. The woman full of wanderlust stirs a desire in men that is easy to harness and guide wherever one pleases. The idea of me, but not the actuality of us; it's safe, it's whimsical. Anything is possible in those moments. Together we could conquer new worlds. And just as quickly as it began, it ends. 

Then what? I log them away in my memory, noting their insecurities, their passions, their weaknesses, their strengths, their smiles, their humor. And that's that. No one is hurt, we both go our separate ways, with pleasant memories to hold onto and recall whenever we need or want. 

This hobby of mine has kept me safe, as it is a rare occasion that I want to get involved with any of these men. Men who seek the idea of me, rather than the actuality of me aren't appealing for more than a moment. And I like that. But recently, as I've been settling here on the farm, I am beginning to wonder, am I too good at the temporary? Has my hobby become my vocation? Could I exist in a happy, healthy, long term relationship if I tried? If after I share those first moments and someone asks me to stay and not go, would I? Could I? Could I open that door back up and walk through it? If I could, would boredom and cynicism boil up quickly and destroy the potential of anything of true substance?

This isn't a plaguing thought. It isn't leaving me sleepless at night, but is something I am beginning to ponder. 

For now, I ponder on.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Hope in the Face of Opposition

As many of you know, I like to stay current in the fight against social, economical and racial inequality. The fight which sparked what many call "Occupy". Two winters ago I was sent (by my former union, SEIU) to Washington D.C. to join thousands of others for a week of protests and actions on the capital. We did sit-ins at the house of representatives, we marched on K street and we gathered, in solidarity, to make known that not everyone is going to sit by idly and allow the few with much of the money, to dictate the world we live in.

Over the last couple of years, I've been more of an observer in political actions. I like to show up, to be a presence, but I'm not vocal in the groups, rather I use my voice in my own social circles. Granted, the majority of the people in my circles agree with much of my viewpoints, but usually give me this entertained look and do their best to encourage my "silliness". I appreciate the support, of course, but really want to see more be active in this fight against our governments corruption.

Now, don't get me wrong, I fully understand that our "justice" system is actually one of the best systems in the world. I do believe that. However, I don't believe that we should just take that as is. Our government is corrupt in many ways and our police are frightening. When someone sees police lights flash, they aren't happy to know there is a person nearby who is looking out for them, with pure and moral intentions. Rather our stomachs turn and our minds begin to race with thoughts of "damn it, what am I going to have to deal with?" and if you aren't white, your fear is far worse. Yes, racism is alive and well in our country and unfortunately it is often ignored because it makes white people uncomfortable.

The reality is racial inequality exacerbates social and economical inequality. This isn't just my opinion either, this is based on facts from much research done by many who recognize and care about this issue. I highly recommend you read some of the information out there, it's very enlightening.


The point of all of this; yesterday I went to the Oakland courthouse to be a witness at a court hearing for Prince Boson. The following is an excerpt of an article written by a comrade who was present at last years May Day action. You can read the article in it's entirety here.

"Last year on May Day, a boisterous but mostly peaceful demonstration promoted by Occupy Oakland and other groups, was aggressively attacked by an OPD assault force. There really is no other way to describe the events [I wrote about that day here, and that attack in "Part 2"].

"As the march, which had surged around the city center and lake, came back to Oscar Grant Plaza to plug back into the rest of the day’s events at around mid-d
ay, the police suddenly rushed the crowd from behind, causing panic. In the ensuing confusion, the OPD targeted several individuals. As you can see from these photos, they were offensively brutal in the arrests–but in the case of Prince alone, they went the extra step of tazing him. I think that given that he was the only African American arrested that day, its definitely arguable the extra force was racially motivated.

I was in the crowd that day and absolutely no one posed a threat to any police officer. All of the protesters brought to the ground and arrested, were quite literally just standing there, except for one woman, who was rushed from behind and yanked from a bicycle."


Because of this blatant discrimination, I was happy to ride my bike into Oakland and sit for an hour and a half in the courtroom to stand in solidarity with Prince. The DA dropped all but one charge against him (there had been four: PC 243(b) – battery on an officer, PC 644/211 – robbery of an officer, PC 69 – felony obstruction & resisting, PC 148(a) – m obstruction.) The most frightening part of all of this is that "because of the seriousness of the charge: PC 69 – felony obstruction & resisting, the court has to side with the police."  To believe that what the police say is true and not what the defendant and videos prove to be true strikes a dictatorship fear in me. How can we hold corrupt police accountable when it's their lies against the truth of citizens? By showing up and not standing idly by, that's how. Prince's attorney's request for him to be released on his own recognizance or to have his bail reduced was denied. His bail was set at $25,000 and his pretrial court date and pretrial examination were both set. The silver lining was that when Prince's hearing concluded, 30 people stood up and exited the courtroom. In addition to this, due to donations by those who went and others who couldn't be present, but care, we were able to raise enough money for Prince to be released!

It is with great pride that I can share that. It gives hope to seemingly hopeless situations! We stand together and we will not be quiet! Stayed tuned to the case and other political failings.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Standing on the Edge

We look back to learn, we look forward to believe.


Are we all standing on the edge of peace and chaos? On the edge of creation and destruction? Standing squarely between good and evil? Yes, I believe we are. Every day we wake up and with every step we take, we make the choice to step off the edge and into peace, creation and goodness or into chaos, destruction and evil.

Whatever you believe or don't believe doesn't matter, that choice is still yours and no one else's; the choice to choose. We are the ones who choose to create or destroy; to build up or tear down. And I for one crave, above all other things, to be a person, an energy, a force, that builds up and creates. I possess a power - we - possess a power to make waves in our world. Isn't that empowering?! To know we can, in every action, make waves that will roll into lives all around us?

My life, though flocked with disorder and chaos, in the midst of those untold events, my life has been abundant with people who have used their energy to build up others around them; creating worlds within their reach that are better because they choose to be that force of good. Due to events of many kinds, I've been forced to make the choice: creation or destruction? Countless nights I've had the painful pleasure of wrestling with that choice. Looking at myself in the mirror and struggling between the desire in my heart to do good and love or to inflict pain and hurt. I wish I could say it's an easy choice, that my heart is pure and I desire nothing but peace. But that isn't true, and some times I take the easy route and gladly and aimlessly step into the chaos of destruction. Something that, after the fact, I never feel pleased or proud about.

Indeed, sometimes life does require us to be licentious; to break away from social or cultural norms and limitations. This, however, doesn't mean it must be in a destructive or negative manner. And here is where I often struggle with a balance. When is it helpful and healthy? And when is it destructive and cancerous? These are the nights when sleep evades me and rapid, streaming thoughts of good vs. evil; bear vs. shark; peace vs. destruction, abound and interrupt each other at an unstoppable rate.

Some nights it requires me to search my soul, alone and quietly, to make the decision. But some nights it requires me to make a phone call, to knock on a door or to wait until dawn to speak with a friend that will walk through and talk through these colliding thoughts. This is when I'm assured, without a doubt, that peace, creation and goodness is always the path I want to choose. And this is because the people in my life, the people who have seen me in both my darkest and brightest days, they stand with me and give me the strength and confidence to move forward in peace. YOU, the ones reading this, YOU are those people. I don't know how I've gotten so lucky, blessed and/or fortunate to have such a large group of people who will do this for me. It is overwhelming in the most magnificent kind of way. And it inspires me to be the best version of myself that is possible.

Today I am thankful in a solemn and reflective way. Thank you to each of you. Thank you for seeing your friend(s) as they are: beautiful, broken, hopeful and powerful. And for believing that nothing can forever define us. That every moment of every day, we possess the power to redefine who we are and what kind of world we will live in.

And as we stand on the edge of darkness 
Let our chant fill the void 
That others may know 
In the land of the night 
The ship of the sun 
Is drawn by 
The grateful dead. 
-- Tibetan "Book of the Dead" ca. 4000 BC.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

On top of the world!

r.w. street tags around Oakland - found out this artists name is reggie warlock and he's dope!
That would be perfect weather, my friends.
Alley art in San Francisco. Also, truth.
Mark Twain, preaching truth still to this day.
Often I feel like a queen. It's true, I really do. It's as though I can crinkle my nose, make a wish and *poof!* my wish is the universes command. I realize this sounds like I'm tempting fate, but I am not. It is more a commentary on how kind and warm the universe can be. There has been no shortage of adventure for me this last year. I've been wiggling around the country (and a few other countries) to find the kindness of strangers abounds and happiness is plentiful, you've just got to be willing to seek it out.

Though I spend much of my time being a cynic, it's mostly just for fun. The truth is, despite what I was raised to believe- that we are all inherently evil - I've found that to be quite the opposite. Most people are kind and willing to go an extra step if it means making someone else's day better. This has been my experience. I've seen it in all kinds of ways; the numerous folks in Maine who allowed me to camp on their property or sleep on their couch. A kind fellow in Seattle who found my purse and spent two days tracking me down, despite it being almost impossible to find me. A cafe owner who gave me a free sandwich one day during my ride. A fellow who gave me a ride when my tire was flat and I couldn't find my repair kit. The fellows I biked with who took many of my things, without asking, to lighten my load. The many lovely friends who have allowed me to crash in their homes for weeks and some, months, in the course of my travels! These are quite literally just a small fraction of the divine folks who have positively impacted my life in just the last year.

I'm so excited for the many other kind folks whose paths I'll cross in the year to come.

Currently I'm staying with one of those wildly generous friends who has welcomed me into her home and it's been a real good time. I've been exploring the Bay area and have absolutely loved it. Whether it be swimming in the pool on the Coast Guard base, getting hour long massages for $20 in Oakland's Chinatown, exploring the street art in San Francisco, riding my bike through Alameda or simply lounging in the backyard, each day has been most glorious. What's a lady to do, but bask in the sun and the joy of all life has to offer.

Check out some of the nifty things I've seen!

First morning in California, the fog before the sunshine!

And then the sun shone! Yay for California!

Bikes!
My first moments biking across the Golden Gate Bridge.
$20 make you holler. Oakland Chinatown massages.
Fantastic street art in the Mission District in San Francisco.
Incredible street art, despite my blurry camera.
Dinosaurs! Mission District.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Inclement Weather


It's been an interesting week. In Astoria brother and I made the call to start our trip late and make it short. The weather foretold of much rain and wind. It isn't the rain I mind, but the wind. The wind is what could toss me in front of a steel-wheeled machine moving horribly fast, so safety first, right? After all, that's why I've got all the bright pink gear and flashing lights.

It is to keep the night sweats away! Salt on everything!
We stayed over in Cannon Beach, then the next day brother and I back tracked up to Seaside, OR so I could stay in the only hostel within biking distance. That was our last day of this trip together. A sad thing for sure. It's been so much fun hanging out with Ben. We get along really well and traveling together proved to be comical and entertaining. A blast is what some people may call our time together.

I've been waiting out wind and rain here in Seaside. I stayed in a quiet hostel (alone in a 6 person dorm room) on the first night. No complaints! It was a pretty good deal. My bags dried out, though everything is filthy. Covered in road muck, as is my bike. Feels like actual street cred. Ha! Last night and tonight I'm Couchsurfing. I've got a very generous host who has a large home and many beds!

It's been a challenge to wait and make plans, instead of just jumping on my bike and riding. Despite how much I disdain saying this, a little planning can go a long way. So, I've taken advantage of this inclement weather and have gotten stops and couches set up through Oregon. Should be in California by the end of the week!



Bright and early I'll get back on the road! Until tomorrow, I'll enjoy my mistress, the ocean. She sure is mighty this week.

Feels good. It feels real good.
Sea foam. I for one have never seen green sea foam, by the way.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Day 1 & 2: Let the Wild Rompus Begin!

Day 1: Anderson Island to Centralia. I mean Chehalis. No, actually Centralia.

Yesterday I woke up at my parents house on Anderson Island, WA. Tonight I am sitting in hotel in Astoria, OR. And I made it here by the power of my own legs... and the help of a few strangers.

Little brother and I began our trip with a few hills. Mostly flat after the first handful of miles. A few wrong turns in Lacey and a flat tire is how we things went the first half of yesterdays trip. Oops. As luck would have it my flat tire happened within walking distance from a rad little bike shop called "joy ride BIKES" and they had us on our way in no time.
We proceeded south and had a smooth ride into Chehalis. By then it was getting dark and we found out that our couchsurfing host actually lived in Centralia. So at the end of our first day, we had biked 5 miles south of where we needed to me. Of course it had all been down hill, so we turned around and headed back to Centralia. Phew. We arrived to our home for the night and were welcomed by a friendly couple who had a warm, cozy home with homemade bologanese sauce simmering on the stove. We drank water and enjoyed a warm and delicious home cooked meal. It was perfect. We were exhausted. It took no time to settle in for the night, as we felt so welcomed and comfortable. Thanks, Charli! During a conversation in the morning, both brother and I found ourselves to have been defrosting throughout the night- we both battled being really cold and sweating under comforters. Biking in the evening is turning out to be more cold than we realize when we're in it.

Day 2: Chehalis to Astoria, via Ryderwood.

Surprisingly day two proved to really kick our asses. And we thought day one was a testament to our will. Day started off well enough, but at about 20 miles in we took a wrong turn 7 miles in the wrong direction. Only to realize this because we arrived in Ryderwood. A town where there is literally only one road in. A we were at the very end of it. Exhausted and frustrated because we had a rather ambitious goal of getting to Astoria by the end of the day.
Enter Bill and Bella. A little dog named Bella came up to us as we sat, lamenting our decision to "just ride" instead of checking maps. Bella's owner Bill followed suit and asked us what we were doing in Ryderwood. We explained our situation, he asked if we were going to ride all the way back and I responded with a "Yeah, unless you know someone who wants to give us a ride back to our turn off." He answered with a genuine "I can drive you, I've got a minivan." And in no time we had our bikes in Bill's van and were headed back in the right direction, making up for lost time.
We learned from Bill that Ryderwood is a 55+ only community with about 450 residents. He is the pastor of the only church in town. This is where we cheated. And I'm very proud of that decision. We got dropped off in Longview. We shaved off 30 miles of our trip, but got back on schedule. Bill was really kind, he even bought us coffee before we parted ways. He saved the day, truly. Because we still had 50 miles to cover. And if you add in the wrong turns of the morning, we had already biked about 15 around in circles or into dead ends.
We proceeded on to find many hills. Some at a 6% grade for one, two, three miles. We were doing pretty good until it was dark. Sore, exhausted and sweaty, but good. But the dark (brings much colder temperatures) and with many hills at the end of the ride, we almost hit the wall. Almost. It was close. A gas station burrito, water, water, a whole bag of funyuns later and we were about 5% better. Finally we arrived in Astoria. Yes, that's right, we're in Astoria and I couldn't be more happy about that. When I stood under the hot shower in our hotel, I wiped my face off with a white cloth to watch it turn grey. Covered in truck soot and all kinds of road grime. That can't be good. Ha!

Lessons learned - don't set the goal so high. Yeah, yeah, I know. But seriously, tomorrow is leisure day. I'll be happy with 30 miles down the road tomorrow. Another lesson learned - don't look up when you're biking up a hill. Especially when they last for 3 miles. Hunker down, look at the road and do that as long you possibly can. Hills hurt.

A lot of good those directions did.

Tally ho!